Sometimes we receive letters from some of our followers, or from people who have read our book “We Are Human Angels” and, touched by the topics and inspired by what we write, decide to contact us with the purpose of sharing some meaningful parts of their lives, asking for suggestions about their problems and those of their beloved ones. One of these letters, written by a woman, that we received a few days ago, has touched us in a particular fashion because it is related to some of the aspects that we deal with in our book. It is about the vision of others in their role as our mirrors. In the first part, you will read the woman’s story and in the following part, you will read our answer. This woman, whose name and nationality will not be shown (as it is not important to the contest) told us a story about herself and her sister, asking us suggestions about her behavior in the future. We will call this woman Jenny (it’s a fantasy name, of course). This is her story. At the end, you will also find the answer we gave her. Let us know if this story rings a bell, or if you find that it resonates with you and your life. Jenny is a single woman with no children. She has financially supported and helped her young sister for almost 30 years. Jenny’s sister got married when she was very young, had three children and, after a short time, lost her husband (became a widow). When Jenny’s sister lost her husband, she immediately fell into a depression, becoming addicted to psychotropic drugs and started to have financial problems, also due to the fact that three of her children have never had a job, relying on the fact that they were all financially supported by Jenny. Since the beginning of this situation, Jenny on one side was helping her sister, and on the other side was complaining about this situation, continuously telling her sister that she wanted some respect for what she was doing for her and expecting that something would change for the better in her sister’s life. Nothing has changed in thirty long years, except that one of Jenny’s sister’s children ( a boy that we will call “Tom”) has become addicted to hard drugs and, after his arrest on drugs charges, was forced into a drug rehabilitation center for a long time. Jenny has taken it upon herself to support and visit him at the center, always expecting that her support could change something for the better, but unfortunately without positive results. Her sister is still living a hand to mouth existence and asking Jenny for money, and Jenny is still giving her money. At the end of last month, Jenny decided to stop her financial support, but her sister reacted to this news with a lot of rage, and now Jenny does not know what to do, because she is worried about the fact that her sister could also commit suicide, due to her sister’s unstable mental state and that Tom is not expressing any wish to recover from his problem. The two other children seem completely absent and seem to have no respect for themselves or their mother. Jenny wrote to us asking: “What should I do about my sister? I am alone, and I also have to look after my old mom; should I stop helping her or should I go on? Please help me.”
Here below is our answer.
Dear Jenny, thank you for sharing with us such an important part of your life and also for showing to us how much suffering you are feeling because of this situation. The things that have been happening to you for a long time in your life are the repetition of an apparently unsolvable programming. It might seem that the greater your commitment, the lesser the recognition you receive. It also seems that there is no healing for your sister, despite your efforts in helping her at all costs. Please bare in mind that an act of Love cannot be recognized and honored, especially if we project expectations onto it, such as: ” I help you, but I expect that you recognize me as your savior”. Your sister and her sons, are neither bad nor unaware, otherwise they would not have chosen such a turbulent path for their lives. Especially for what concerning Tom, who has taken the road to drug addiction, it probably means that he is expressing a personal malaise that he was not able to heal by himself but, in reality, his malaise is a burden of suffering that weighs on his shoulders and those of his family. In our book “We Are Human Angels” we say that other people are nothing more than mirrors that reflect something about ourselves (either our Light or our shadow) . Related to your situation, we can suggest to you not to feel separated from your relatives, and not to feel they are different from you because of their suffering. You are an angel for them, and you express, through your behavior, a part of their angelic side that they have not been able to fully express in their own lives but that they express through you. At the same time, you can see if they express some aspects of your life that you have already overcome, healed, and transcended. Each of you can draw, from the well of the other, the lifeblood that can nourish the better part of every one in service to the common good. For now, you can go on helping them outside of any judgement and without saying what is “right” or “wrong” to them. Your next step is that of being thankful to your sister for the opportunity she has given to you to be an angel, because probably they would do the same with you. Tell your sister that you are honored to help her without projecting onto her your expectations of gratitude. Tell her that you feel absolutely sure that they would help you in the same way you’re doing with them if your roles were reversed. To the son that is in the Drug Rehabilitation Centre, tell him that the act of helping him is a source of joy and also tell him that he is an angel, and that he will be healed of his suffering. Tell him that you do not go to visit him in order to feed your ego through his recognition of what you’re doing for him, express gratitude and respect for the burden of suffering that weighs on his shoulders. By honoring his pain, you will heal yourself from the suffering that you express through him. Heal yourself, and he will heal with you: there is no separation between you and him. You have helped your relatives for a very long time, denying yourself that Love you are giving to them. Do not sever the bond with your sister and look deeply within yourself: you are probably not yet ready to let her go. When you start to love yourself more, they will start to love themselves too, and the healing will be mutual and spontaneous. Only then the bond between souls that have tightened around you so painfully will be slipped, and each of you will be free to live their lives freely with joy in their hearts, out of any burden of suffering. We hug you all and we support you in your healing journey. We wish you joy and bliss.
Your Angels Friends,
(If you want to share your story with us, we will be glad to publish it. To learn how, please follow this link)